This pandemic validated my belief in the effectiveness of what I call CORE SELF-CARE.
So many people are challenged nowadays (myself included), especially here in California, where things seem to be worse than in other parts of the country, by the closure of spas and other care facilities which became the norm of the so called self-care trend.
So, I invite you to ponder on the concept of CORE SELF-CARE:
Self-care is something that YOU do for yourself, and not something that others do for you, that’s why it is called Self-care and not care-by-other.
What a paradox, that we so much seek to be independent, but we seek soothing from others, and depend so much on others for our well-being. Is it then a surprise that we are restless, anxious and we suffer from insomnia more now than ever? I do not think so. Without our care-by-others we are doing worse because we got used to relying so much on others at the expense of our inner resources.
So, what can we do? We only need to open up to our own potential, get acquainted with our resources and learn how to access them at the time of need. For example, let’s look at breathing. Breathing is the most reliable and instant mood altering tool we own, not only an unconscious process, but under our control, too; we always breath, and we can learn to pay attention and change our breath according to each and every need, at any time and anywhere.
But do we do it? Do we just choose to sit or lay down and simply breathe? I am afraid that this does not happen very often; instead, we drive an hour or so to that yoga class in the other county, or wait for that free mindfulness class on Zoom tomorrow, or we just postpone, while spinning deeper and deeper into anxiety, depression and insomnia. To put it in just a few words: we do not connect with our inner power, we neglect it or override our internal (and free) resources for well- being and happiness.
Yes, we do need company. We miss it badly and we are deeply deprived of the physicality of human connection.
But for now, in this difficult time of lack and uncertainty, we can do something: decide to choose an essential core self-care attitude: ACCEPTANCE. Acceptance doesn’t mean that we resign, no, on the contrary, it means that we choose to make the best out of this situation- reroute for the time being, use this time wisely, as a chance to go inwards, to sort out ‘the good, the bad and the ugly’, to learn what our core needs are, unlearn the old and learn new ways of fulfilling them, to access our internal resources, and to apply them consistently.
Imagine yourself getting out of the ashes of Covid times refreshed, renewed, emerging with valuable skills for the rest of your life. It is possible. Marry Poppins is still with us today, telling us that “anything is possible, even the impossible.”
So, my two cents for you:
1. Sort out your CORE needs. Prioritize. Pick one, the most important one, then
2. Engage in learning that one skill for that one core need. Get the help you need, then stop, turn off the Zoom and practice. Stay centered, stay collected. Practice daily. You will be surprised- the progress we make when we focus on one thing at a time is unbelievable. I hope you discover this soon.